


Last Day

by StarlightHawke



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mentioned yooseven, Suicidal Thoughts, ending left open so you can decide what happens, probable suicide, this isn’t light reading by any means
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 01:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17274539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightHawke/pseuds/StarlightHawke
Summary: He’s alone. So, so alone, and that will be his existence until his beating heart is snuffed out like a weak flame. The other part of him, the half that received all that was good in them, is gone. Ripped away by cruel circumstance and a choice he doesn’t regret. A choice he’ll never regret, not as long as that half stays protected and pure.





	Last Day

Everything is fine.

To say it’s _good_ might be a bit of an exaggeration. Even _happy_ is taking it too far; content would be the best descriptor, if forced to choose one. Content. Stable. Sure, there’s highs and lows. Days where the sun shines a little brighter, beaming down on a single flower as it opens up to absorb the warmth radiating from the world around it. And then there are the days that are gloomy, stormy, the wind turning fat droplets of rain bullets that threaten to rip the leaves from that same flower’s stem, leaving it battered and bruised, barely alive. But that’s life, right? Ups and downs, happy and sad, good and less than.

Of course he’s not immune to life. 707 would be stupid if he thought so, and if there’s one thing he can say with confidence that he isn’t, it’s stupid. It’s one of the double-edged swords in his life; smart enough to be called a genius and excel in a college setting despite never receiving any formal schooling prior. High enough grades to secure a place in the agency even at high young age. Intelligent enough to know how to ride the back of procrastination without getting bucked off and driven though, even if only hanging on by a hair.

But with that same intelligence comes a knowledge so heavy, so inescapable that it crushes his thorax. The bones splintering into his lungs leave him suffocating on the same air that had once kept him floating in an ocean of darkness.

Everything is fine.

Until it’s not.

He’s alone. So, so alone, and that will be his existence until his beating heart is snuffed out like a weak flame. The other part of him, the half that received all that was good in them, is gone. Ripped away by cruel circumstance and a choice he doesn’t regret. A choice he’ll never regret, not as long as that half stays protected and pure.

Still… he misses. Misses being whole, misses laughing and playing and warm cuddles in the cold of night. He always knew he was the broken one and that’s why he worked so hard to be the stronger of them. To save the only person worth saving. And that’s what all of this is for, but it doesn’t override the depths of despair he’s feeling now.

Logic has always been a friend of his. Logic and numbers, the two things that never lie. Humans do, the heart definitely does, but not those. But even logic isn’t managing to spear through the thick black fog of his loneliness. Not today.

Most of his missions are hacking. Sitting at a desk with his fingers flying over the keyboard, eyes focusing on a seemingly infinite amount of numbers with a chip in his mouth and music blaring in his ears. But today marks a rarity in the perpetual misery of being an agent. Today he gets to venture into the field. Sure, he won’t be alone - Vanderwood will be there, Vanderwood is _always_ there - but it’s dangerous enough that even if all the odds stack in their favor, they may not come back alive.

The sheets around him are damp from sweat, a byproduct of the nightmares that haunt him whenever he dares to close his eyes. They smell too, the odor nearly undetectable to him by now but sharp enough to remind him they need washed when he tugs them over his pale face. It’s difficult to get a good night’s rest when he’d rather work until he can’t anymore. Work and work, ignoring any form of basic self-care so that maybe he simply keels over one day from lack of nutrition and sleep.

A coward’s way out. Then again, that’s exactly what he is. One bonafide coward, hidden beneath memes and a mountain of honey butter chips.

Maybe today is the day he lets it all go wrong. Not for his reluctant partner, but himself. Get Vanderwood out, then let the world steal his breath. It’s not as though anyone would miss him. He’s simply a number to the agency, another one bites the dust. To the RFA, he’s just a mask, a man who takes nothing seriously. The security on the server is high enough to be fine for a few months without him. All he’d need to do would be to send directions to allow another access to Jumin and that would be taken care of.

No one would miss him. His other half is happy somewhere, has already mourned him and moved on. His death would only minorly annoy Vanderwood and that’s due to needing to be assigned a new partner. And Yoosung…

Yoosung.

Yoosung might be sad for a while, but for only as long as one can be when someone they don’t truly care about passes. It would be presumptuous to assume otherwise, regardless of what the younger man claims to feel. Seven isn’t stupid; he knows he’s just a fill-in. A convenience boyfriend until the real deal comes along. He’s not worth anyone’s time or love; never has been, never will be. Yoosung is no exception. Even if he’s unaware of that himself, it’s the truth.

The world will go on without him, and be better for it.

He makes a mental checklist of things to accomplish before this afternoon, when it’s time to leave.

_Arrange transportation of HBC to Yoosung._

_Write up email to Jumin, complete with encoded key to RFA app security._

_Set computers to erase everything._

_Set backup hard drives to self-destruct._

_Change password to bunker door as a last farewell to Vanderwood._

When the alarm on his phone goes off, it’s nearing 20 items long.

At least his last day will be a busy one.


End file.
